I told my sister-in-law, someone I can tell anything, that I’ve entered the “P” years. “Are you having urinary tract issues?” she asks. No, not pee, but P, as in I now have a close relationship with a periodontist and a podiatrist. I think I’m too young for either, but my puffy gums and bulging bunions have landed me in with the P specialists. What’s next? Psychiatrist?
I used to hear old folks talk about their visits to the podiatrists and wonder what the hell happened to their feet. Now I practically need a chainsaw to trim my nails; as my bunion bones go east, my toes go west and never the twain shall meet. I don’t like looking at my feet in sandals. I used to enjoy unswaddling my feet after a long winter and exposing them to their first rays of sun in months and going barefoot. The podiatrist says going barefoot is bad for bunions. But it’s bad for my mental health not to go barefoot, I tell him.
I never paid much attention to my gums; now I’m paying too much attention to them. It’s easy to take your gums for granted. I just had a deep scaling last week. I wish they would come up with better name for this procedure. Deep is not the word I object to, I’m all for going deep, but scaling is not a word I want associated with anything – except maybe the biblical “scales” that should fall from my eyes.
If I could only get these scales to lift from my eyes, my mental outlook would improve. I see the hours spent in these doctor’s offices robbing me of time in the open air among the irises. Irises don’t care if you have puffy gums or bulges on your feet.
The hygienist doing the deep scaling says stress plays a big role in gum health. She recommends that I reduce all the stress in my life. How the heck do I do that? Except maybe in the garden. But I seem to be gifted at carrying stress with me wherever I go – even to the garden.
Do I get a refund if the P doctors cannot reduce my puffy gums or aching bunions? Just asking.
I can hardly wait to see what’s next. The D years? Dermatologists and Drugs (a.k.a., the pharmacist.)
But maybe that belongs in the P years, too?